Bobble Heads/Journalist

I was exhausted last night. The hour was late but I couldn’t sleep either. Turning on our thousand-channel pay through the ass luxury package cable TV service provider I couldn’t find a dern thing interesting. Even the mind-numbing channel was a repeat.

My last resort was the news you know the 24/7/365 news. I go flicking around for the best Bobble Head/Journalist I can tolerate. We really don’t have many root out the real story writers left anymore. Everyone is so pretty showing lots of cleavage and the highest heels and the longest lashes ah less not leave out the men here. Those guys are the biggest bunch of prissy faced dressed up macaques’ I’ve ever seen.

I began to notice that they all run in packs with guest called authority persons. You know the kind, the I’m always right sort of folks running from cable news channel to cable news channel. Everyone seems to know the answer but not one knows how to accomplish the goal. It occurred to me I was watching a game show of sorts that could cost me a bundle of money if the wrong person farted in public in an effort to drive the market up or down.

Old news really to someone of my years.

The Vanderbilt, Morgan, Rockefeller and Carnegie of their day would make Warren Buffett and his buddies look like janitors compared to their genius. Those, the big four understood the art of negotiation and were closers all until the end.

When I worked in the concrete jungle, I began selling real estate. I did it for gosh over way past a decade or more. I did it during the rough times too in the 70’s and 80’s. In the 80’s it was selling the Savings and Loan mess for the greed-ridden failures. They called me the Road Runner. Not matter the state their private jets took me to, I closed the deal.

I wasn’t their road runner I was a closer. I must tell you I never sold a piece of real estate in my life. I sold ego’s, magnolia trees, spring fed mountain land for hysterically more money than it was worth weather it had a structure on it or not.

So here we go again, everything old is new again. Wonderful people and some not so wonderful are losing all their stuff while others are winning. I liked being a closer. I took money from the bad guys selling them real property. I made ever effort to sell to any greedy invested investor I could find property worth less and got them to pay more in an all out effort to let the poor dumb homeowner duped in the first place come out even.

News Flash! You folks out there that made those I’m here to help you bank deals. These would be the ones where the bank reduced the loan on your house and you found a buyer for. Your special real estate agent got the lender to accept less thus forgiving the debt. Don’t blame him/her. Their job is disposing of real estate. They found a buyer for the bank/lender/sold to Fannie Mae/derivative  to take the house off your hands. The above reduced the loan on your house so it wouldn’t stay vacant or become vacant. Things happen to vacant houses as in stuff being stole, such things from toilet’s to kitchen cabinets torn out and sold for scrap. Banks don’t like that sort of thing you understand. So here to help they will reduce your loan when a buyer is found and you think Jesus just came back and saved your ass.

Think again folks! The bank with the come to Jesus moment reducing your unpaid loan balance will turn the lost part of the loan they so graciously reduced over to a collection agency. Naturally the bank will include all the expenses, grass cutting, lost interest earned on the deferred money they feel you dumb shits have put them through in an all out effort to haunt you for the rest of your God Given Life.

This is how they do it. The collectors (as in agencies or lawyers) watch, wait and monitor. You stop crying in your beer, find a new job, improve your credit history and even buy another house. Like a buzzard they dive in and get a judgment for their client’s (the lender/lenders) loss. Didn’t know that did you?

A judgment is different from a secured lean and yet the same. With a recorded judgment, wages now garnished reducing the amount of your payroll check turning your stable environment upside down yet again.

Let’s say you get the grand offer for an even better job all the equity from the sale of your nice new start over house will go toward paying the unpaid balance out of the settlement proceeds you were counting on to close on the loan of the future house you have contracted to buy is pretty much history now.

I don’t think your real estate agent will know that. Probably not the attorney either if you ask him. Naturally he will listen and for a fee check into that for you. You will find yourself sitting at a closing table scratching  your ass while it’s being explained to you. With no where to turn but another relative for a free place to sleep you sign the papers. Funny isn’t it how things come into view when money is involved and money loves hind-site.

I’m normally full of fun uplifting things to write about. My apologies to all those expecting more of that. All hope is not lost however, I could be wrong as rain and this is not legal advice or fear mongering. Just a little ditty I may or not know something about referred to as a disclaimer notice.

Count your life with the thought all things are possible and one day Warren Buffett or another counterpart could be cleaning your bathroom and dusting your furniture. Move forward without fear but hope and gratefulness.  I mean become a closer in your own right after all the bastard’s can’t take your underwear especially if you choose not to wear any just to mess with their minds.

That’s all a good closer does anyway, we keep em’ thinking they just got the best of us and there is a prize for them in the cracker jack box they refer to as the fine print they so creative put in.

Sign here and a lovely magnolia tree belongs to you and only you. Dern judge wasn’t that fine print a border, I for sure thought it looked like it they will argue and loose when your fine print over rides theirs.

Remember to play nice but smart out there in the big bad world this coming week. The wolves they are a watching.

 

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